Our Friend, Bernie . . .

I will never forget the first time my husband and I met Bernie.  He was the Deacon of the church where we were going to "fill the pulpit" on a Sunday. Gary had spoken with him a number of times regarding directions to the church, and directions where we were to stay for the night. We pulled up to the front of a little country church in the middle of farm fields in southeastern Iowa, where Bernie was parked waiting for us to arrive.  

He introduced himself and told us his sweet wife Leanna would meet us the next morning.  We walked into the church and Bernie lovingly showed us around the church that was so evident he loved.  After giving us a brief history and tour of the church, we drove down the street where the parsonage sat.  The parsonage, like the church was very well taken care of.  One of the things that makes me smile about that day was the way Bernie would jingle the change, or keys, that were in his pants pocket.  He would talk softly and jingle at the same time. That reminded me of my Dad.

Through these past 9, almost 10 years we have so many memories of Bernie & Leanna. I never heard anything negative from either one of them, always encouraging in everything.  Leanna went home several years ago, and we still miss her!  

After Leanna went home, Bernie bought a truck.  It is parked in his garage, (backed in) a one stall garage.  Bernie has had a few heart issues, and came through them well, and suffered a stroke almost 2 years ago. The stroke was hard on him and it took him awhile to get back on his feet.  He had to stop driving to church, but could drive up town if the weather was good. Those hardships did not stop him from being in church every Sunday morning for Sunday school, morning worship and second service.  Bernie never missed Wednesday night prayer service!  He was faithful.  He loved his Lord! He loved his daughter, Patty and her husband Kyle. He loved his Mark Family! He loved and enjoyed a wonderful garden every summer!  His tomatoes were wonderful!

Not too long ago, Bernie was diagnosed with cancer of the jaw.  A few weeks ago, he had surgery to remove the bone, replacing it with part of his wrist bone, and grafting the jaw and wrist with tissue from his thigh.  The surgery lasted over 12 hours.  He left the hospital 1 week later :)  A few days later, Bernie started having some complications with his heart.

Bernie passed away this afternoon. He is with His Lord! 

Bernie was 87 years old.  Such a precious man that will be missed by so many!

I haven't written on my blog for a long time.  But today I felt like I wanted to write about Bernie.  He was an amazing Christian man who walked the walk and talked the talk. I will miss him so very much!   

The Lake House

It looked so incredible on line...  Three bedrooms, 2 baths, living and dining rooms, a kitchen, a fireplace, and a large laundry room.  The thing we loved the most was the huge screened in porch that looked out over the lake. Awesome pictures!!  Just 30 minutes from Gainesville!  The price was high, but the house was completely furnished with everything we would need...EVEN shampoo & conditioner!  Another thing that REALLY impressed us was the idea of a "spring fed lake" that the kids would be able to swim in!  We would also have a paddle boat at our dock, and all kinds of beach equipment & fishing gear!  Did I mention we were to have a grill so that we could cook out as well?   The water was to be shallow.  What a wonderful place to stay for a week!!

  

The first thing we saw!

My daughter Jamie, and my grandchildren, Ben & Lily and I took off on Sunday morning for the lake house. Four or so hours later (lunch) we arrived in Hawthorne, Florida. We could hardly wait to get there!!  We pulled into the driveway and around to the front of the house.  I think at that point, both Jamie and I knew why we hadn't seen any pictures of the outside of the house...if there had been, we wouldn't have checked any further. We sat in the car looking at each other, then at the house, then at each other--shaking our heads "no."  Ben & Lily wanted to get out and explore, they weren't bothered at all by the greenish mold/mildew all along the front and the old steps that looked barely attached to the front of the trailer house...nor did the wasp's buzzing around seem to bother them at all!  We finally decided to get out and look to see if there was

We just couldn't believe this!

a "lake view".  We should have just 
gotten back into the car!  We walked around what we think was a porch, covered in slick, shiny, tile. We came to the back of the trailer, and there was the porch, screened in, but moldy as well :(, the carpet on the porch was stained and soft, as in "will we fall through" soft.  In the middle of the porch sat an old aquarium, covered in...you guessed it!  Mold Beyond the porch was a hill that led down to the water's edge.  The dock in our minds didn't resemble the one in front of us, and the slide for the kids....the lake was so shallow that they would have slid off into maybe 8 inches of muck! But because there was a paddle boat, the kids were totally in heaven.  Jamie and I are absolutely speechless.....what in the world have we gotten ourselves into?

Nice touch on the screen porch!

At that point we walked back onto the porch and the owner let us into the house.  It was 94 degrees outside, and 100 degrees in the house!! Jamie and I walked through the house all the while shaking our heads.  We needed to "talk" about what we were going to do.  I kept thinking about the one review on line from 2011.....the only review.  
We did talk and then we talked with the lady owner.  We were so disappointed, and by this time, she was aware of it.  She told us that we were under no obligation, but what she didn't realize was that, we didn't really have a choice. It was getting late, and we didn't have time to run into Gainesville and find a place. 

So, we decided to stay one night.  After signing the papers and writing a check for way too much, the owner began to tell us that the kids could swim, but they needed to put drops of some stuff she gave us, into their ears if their heads went under water.  Sure, right...they will not be swimming.  Then she explained that the shallow lake was at least 30 feet in the middle and that the kids needed to be good swimmers.  Sure, right...they will not be swimming.  Then she told us about the paddle boats, and of course let's not forget the nasty water moccasins! 

Covered in mold!

We made it through the night, and the very next evening a neighbor lady was telling us about the alligator she saw just last week.  She wasn't sure if our land lady had mentioned that little tid bit of info...nope, she hadn't. DRAMA!

Anyway, here it is Thursday night. We've been here since Sunday night. We've managed to keep ourselves from being stung by the wasps, and so far only 1 red ant bite.  The lake is pretty from a distance and we are just fine with that!!  It's too hot to sit out on the porch by the aquarium, and we are just fine with that too! 

We plan to leave on Saturday to head back to Vero Beach.  Jamie's radiation will be done tomorrow!  PTL! We've watched a lot of video's and the kids have been just fine playing with toys or reading or doing puzzles.  We spent time today at a huge pool in Gainesville, and plan to do that again tomorrow. 

Early this evening we were getting ready to head into town for pizza, I was looking out the kitchen window and there in the lake was an alligator.  Go figure!

Do Pastors Wives Need To Vent?

A year or so into my role as a Pastors Wife, I began to feel extremely overwhelmed at a number of "situations" that I didn't have any idea what to do with.  I couldn't ask the ladies at the church for input, because frankly, some of them had to do with the situations I was trying to find solutions for.

After praying about this for awhile, I decided to call another pastors wife (who had been in my shoes for over 25 years) and see if she could meet me for lunch!  She said "Yes!" And we agreed to meet at a nearby restaurant.  I had a whole week to write out my questions!  I could not wait! 

Finally, the day arrived and I put the list in my purse and drove to the restaurant.  We got our table, and after ordering I reached into my purse to get my list.  I was kind of afraid that she would laugh at my questions.  But I needed help, I wanted to vent.  Before I had a chance to say anything, she began to talk. . . and talk . . . and cry.  I realized that my little list of problems was nothing compared to the things this woman was going through! As I listened to her speak, I quietly put my list away.  I didn't need it today. We sat in that restaurant for almost 2 hours.  She wasn't looking for answers for what she was going through, she just needed someone to listen and encourage her, and to pray with her!  I got to do that!  What a blessing it was to help! 

     

You know, I can't remember what was on that list.  I have no idea what even happened to it.  But I do know God had something special for me to learn that day.  I learned that it's not always about me, and what I need.  Sure, I had some legitimate questions and concerns, but they weren't as important as I had thought.  I also learned that listening can also be a great source of learning.  So many times, I don't listen because I'm trying to think of my response to what I'm hearing.  Ouch, huh! 

As for venting . . . I have learned that you shouldn't vent to anyone if it's going to be about someone else---that's gossiping!  I have also learned not to vent to my children---they see it as complaining, and it discourages them.

So, what do you do when you feel the need to vent?  I believe it's best to first bring it before the Lord.  Hello? He knows us better than anyone, and He knows exactly what we're going through.  His Word always has the answers that we seek, and the balm for our hurt.  If you absolutely must talk to someone else, go to a Godly woman you can completely trust,  and just talk. We all have things that we are going through, life is hard and it helps sometimes just to get it all out and to be encouraged.   

I am learning that if what I need to vent about doesn't glorify God, then to just keep my mouth shut. 

   

   

Joy in the Midst of Tears . . .

Usually for a Wednesday night in the summer, I print up about 25-30 prayer bulletins for the crowd that gathers for prayer in our little country church. Yesterday, I made just over 50.  I knew we were going to have a much larger group.  And we did!  Fifty men, women, and children gathered around a young mother and father who learned yesterday morning that their 10 year old son has cancer.  

I cannot even begin to tell you what the atmosphere was like in our church. Heartbreaking prayers going up for the mommy and daddy who's lives will forever be changed.  Not to mention the young boy who now will be fighting cancer or be a cancer survivor for the remainder of his life here.  

The little man who's name was lifted to our Father last night, over and over again is one of my kids in Kids 4 Truth.  He has memorized so many scriptures in the past 3 years!  He witnesses to so many! He invites kids to church!  He talks to kids about the Lord in the public school.  He shines for Jesus!  One of older men testified last night that he has almost 70 years on this little boy and that the little boy still tells him about Jesus!  We laughed through our tears!  It's like "God was everywhere" comforting, and encouraging and giving

 peace--as only He can! 

We didn't get home last night until 9:30 PM.  People didn't want to leave. They wanted to talk and encourage this couple face to face!! Small groups here and there, talking and praying.  One of our teen girls went to the piano and started playing!  God was there!  I wish you could have been there! 

What an awesome night!  One that none of us will forget.  God is so good!

    

Sand Paper People

Oh my, the joys of being a Pastor's wife, and there are many! However I must confess that I wasn't ready for some of them. 

It was a bright and beautiful Sunday morning several months after we had settled into our first church.  I was walking into the church and I was met immediately by 2 of our older saints.  They were indeed on a mission, as their body language so quickly conveyed!  I am thinking, "uh oh" here it comes! The sweet little man said:  "you have the date wrong in the bulletin!" and he walked away.  The saintly woman then said with her finger pointed at me: "you've misspelled so and so's name here!  How could you do that?" A few years after this incident (and many confrontations about type-o's in the bulletin), I was making up the Wednesday night prayer bulletin for those we needed to pray for and I put my name beside my husbands name along with the Deacon's, Trustee's, Sunday School teachers, etc.  It wasn't even 5 minutes after my proof-reader's came in before I was asked "why do you need prayer?"  I am laughing as I tell this.  I wasn't back then.   It was definitely one of those, "here's your sign" moments!    

What on earth do you say to someone who comes up to you and says, "I need to tell you, I really need to tell you what some of the ladies are saying!" This woman had been such an enormous help to me, and encouragement, and being the very "unseasoned" Pastor's wife that I was, I quickly responded, "what is it?"  For the next few minutes I listened to what she thought I needed to hear.  It wasn't real bad, but it was information I didn't need to know and I certainly didn't need to know it just before the Ladies Christmas Banquet.  It was hurtful!  I didn't like it!  But I learned from it!

My husband and I were out one evening and we walked into a beautiful shop that had some of the prettiest Christmas arrangement's I'd ever seen!  We were just looking, but my husband eyed one arrangement and said, "Wouldn't that look nice on the communion table?"  Well, we bought it and carefully brought it into the church and placed it in the center of the communion table. I received a phone call from one of the ladies at church on a Monday---the day after she had seen the arrangement.  She was aghast at how I could allow another lady at the church to put that NASTY arrangement on the communion table for Christmas.  I let her go on and on, and when she was done, I  told her that she had "no idea" who bought that arrangement, and that it wasn't that "other" lady. I was convinced that if she knew the Pastor had hand picked it out, paid for it and displayed it, she would feel ashamed....nope, not at all. She told me to take that UGLY arrangement out of the church and put it in my house!!  Again, I am laughing, but back then I was not!!  I told my husband that the arrangement was staying right where it was until after the FOURTH OF JULY!  In all seriousness, it took me awhile to get through that one.  

Sand Paper People.   Yep, that's what my friend Janell calls them, and that's what I call them too.  They are those special people that God allows to come into our lives to shape us into the kind of women He needs us to be for the ministry He has led us to. They are not bad people, and though sometimes, their intentions to tell us what they feel aren't usually "spirit led," God still uses them to smooth out our rough and somewhat frayed edges.  He teaches us patience & perseverance through them.  He teaches us how to love them and how to understand why they may say the things they do. There's always so much more to them that we don't see.  God chooses not to give us the whole picture, just so we'll trust Him.  I kind of like that He does that, don't you? 

Sand Paper People . . .  What they have to say doesn't always feel good, it hurts, and sometimes there are a lot of tears, but the shaping, getting rid of those rough frayed edges, and then the finished project  .....now that will so be worth it!

Oh, and if you're wondering... I didn't leave the arrangement up till the 4th of July.  I took it down before Easter :) 

Let's Talk About Summer Camp!

From the time I was going into the 4th grade, I knew I'd be hooked on "Camp" for a long time!  Our church took us to IRBC in Clear Lake, Iowa. I not only attended each and every year until I was a senior in high school, I worked as many weeks as I could during the summers for 4 years!

At our camp, we were separated from outside influences for the week we attended--no phone (we could use the one in the dining hall if we wanted too).  We had a dress code--which I never appreciated until I grew older and became a mother! 

We had so much fun at camp! I met my husband at camp!  I have friends that I met at camp that I still am in contact with!  I had the opportunity to sit under men of God that taught me what God's word said about:  choosing friends wisely, honoring my parents, being respectful, dating. I dedicated my life to the Lord at Christian camp.

I could go on forever about the impact that the IRBC had on my life, and I could never do it justice.  

My children were a few years short of being old enough to attend camp when my husband and I moved to West Palm Beach, Florida.  I wept at the thought that my kids would never have the opportunity to attend or work at that camp....that's how much it meant to me.

 

Here We Go!

Wow!  Finally!  I've been praying about this for a long time. Starting to blog . .  My prayer is to encourage women who are Pastor's wives, or lets just say, "Ministry Wives."  I know there are many of us! I also know it is one of the hardest and loneliest jobs and most rewarding and exciting jobs in the world! But we always try and focus on the rewarding and exciting, don't we?  People don't want to hear about the lonely and hard parts, do they? 

Join me as I try to put some "Real" into the life that God has called me!  I pray you will have patience as I share with you what God has done in my life and what God is doing in my life as the wife of an amazing Pastor and husband.