A year or so into my role as a Pastors Wife, I began to feel extremely overwhelmed at a number of "situations" that I didn't have any idea what to do with. I couldn't ask the ladies at the church for input, because frankly, some of them had to do with the situations I was trying to find solutions for.
After praying about this for awhile, I decided to call another pastors wife (who had been in my shoes for over 25 years) and see if she could meet me for lunch! She said "Yes!" And we agreed to meet at a nearby restaurant. I had a whole week to write out my questions! I could not wait!
Finally, the day arrived and I put the list in my purse and drove to the restaurant. We got our table, and after ordering I reached into my purse to get my list. I was kind of afraid that she would laugh at my questions. But I needed help, I wanted to vent. Before I had a chance to say anything, she began to talk. . . and talk . . . and cry. I realized that my little list of problems was nothing compared to the things this woman was going through! As I listened to her speak, I quietly put my list away. I didn't need it today. We sat in that restaurant for almost 2 hours. She wasn't looking for answers for what she was going through, she just needed someone to listen and encourage her, and to pray with her! I got to do that! What a blessing it was to help!
You know, I can't remember what was on that list. I have no idea what even happened to it. But I do know God had something special for me to learn that day. I learned that it's not always about me, and what I need. Sure, I had some legitimate questions and concerns, but they weren't as important as I had thought. I also learned that listening can also be a great source of learning. So many times, I don't listen because I'm trying to think of my response to what I'm hearing. Ouch, huh!
As for venting . . . I have learned that you shouldn't vent to anyone if it's going to be about someone else---that's gossiping! I have also learned not to vent to my children---they see it as complaining, and it discourages them.
So, what do you do when you feel the need to vent? I believe it's best to first bring it before the Lord. Hello? He knows us better than anyone, and He knows exactly what we're going through. His Word always has the answers that we seek, and the balm for our hurt. If you absolutely must talk to someone else, go to a Godly woman you can completely trust, and just talk. We all have things that we are going through, life is hard and it helps sometimes just to get it all out and to be encouraged.
I am learning that if what I need to vent about doesn't glorify God, then to just keep my mouth shut.
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